dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
don't judge my taste in strippers
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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