I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize