if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize