I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
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I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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