I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
