worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
