Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
