My brain says no but my pants say off.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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