There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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