69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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