ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
