It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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