y did u give ur computer a hand job?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't turn off my feet"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
