Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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