yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
