Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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