your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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