I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize