These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
