I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
