last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
