you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize