Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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