Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize