y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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