Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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