Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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