Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You took a bar mat shot.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
