Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
