I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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