the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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