I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
worst night to have a conscience
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
