i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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