stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
