I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
