Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
