So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
