i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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