But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
