You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
