dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho