Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory

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(913): You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory http://tfl.nu/s661

Replies (15) Good night (4022) Bad night (585)
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(631): View more from New York

i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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(631): i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties. http://tfl.nu/jppt

Replies (18) Good night (4105) Bad night (1086)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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(651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp

Replies (16) Good night (4234) Bad night (620)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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(641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that. http://tfl.nu/2jzp

Replies (27) Good night (8799) Bad night (3269)
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(541): View more from Oregon

New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.

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(541): New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss. http://tfl.nu/x43e

Replies (11) Good night (4127) Bad night (774)
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(571): View more from Virginia

It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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(571): It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack http://tfl.nu/ebu7

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (1870)
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(817): View more from Texas

your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha

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(817): your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha http://tfl.nu/t468

Replies (8) Good night (2084) Bad night (938)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

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(570): Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me? http://tfl.nu/gcj7

Replies (13) Good night (652) Bad night (1161)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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(678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2

Replies (18) Good night (559) Bad night (1746)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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(715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg

Replies (3) Good night (1420) Bad night (407)
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(310): View more from California

So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.

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(310): So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1. http://tfl.nu/ef5h

Replies (8) Good night (1125) Bad night (444)
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(954): View more from Florida

In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?

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(954): In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in? http://tfl.nu/qdxs

Replies (7) Good night (1404) Bad night (401)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (328)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity

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(416): I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity http://tfl.nu/q8vj

Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (285)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

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(586): I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down. http://tfl.nu/ak0v

Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (185)

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