Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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  (515): If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships. (641): Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump? http://tfl.nu/nlh0
  Replies (18) Good night (3273) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

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  (512): do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule? http://tfl.nu/7un4
  Replies (41) Good night (6852) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

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  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (1230) Bad night (6719)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Walk of Shame today included voting.

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  (734): Walk of Shame today included voting. http://tfl.nu/glwh
  Replies (26) Good night (6120) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

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  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3128) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  (313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy
  Replies (3) Good night (2296) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.

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  (707): And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope. http://tfl.nu/sve4
  Replies (13) Good night (1383) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.

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  (908): I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag. http://tfl.nu/b0zy
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1835)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc

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  (415): I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc http://tfl.nu/b6p3
  Replies (12) Good night (602) Bad night (2670)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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  (587): My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween http://tfl.nu/z2rb
  Replies (15) Good night (3242) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries

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  (347): Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries http://tfl.nu/429z
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (343): View more from Ontario

  Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?

  (1-343): View more from Ontario

  Lol, last year was UNREAL

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  (343): Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy? (1-343): Lol, last year was UNREAL http://tfl.nu/u4kx
  Replies (10) Good night (1268) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

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  (717): But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight http://tfl.nu/x4t9
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude

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  (306): Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude http://tfl.nu/ijqp
  Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

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  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (242)

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