The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
