I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
smell my finger.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3