Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me

  (224): View more from Illinois

  RUN RUN RUN RUN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me (224): RUN RUN RUN RUN http://tfl.nu/a7sq
  Replies (23) Good night (3403) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell... http://tfl.nu/oe10
  Replies (8) Good night (758) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8
  Replies (10) Good night (4002) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (5361) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw. http://tfl.nu/cwfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2743) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): 4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin. http://tfl.nu/zsng
  Replies (16) Good night (1073) Bad night (6809)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA. http://tfl.nu/qipd
  Replies (2) Good night (2604) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink. http://tfl.nu/zpxh
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That d should have definitely been an s.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I just watched my mom get dick on Skype. (614): That d should have definitely been an s. http://tfl.nu/dkna
  Replies (9) Good night (1263) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom. http://tfl.nu/kcqn
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while http://tfl.nu/owfg
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one http://tfl.nu/uqwv
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid. http://tfl.nu/dvml
  Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude http://tfl.nu/rvv3
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (200)

Randomize