you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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