My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i already hear my dad disowning me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
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All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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