I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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