For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
