i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
