he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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