brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
