A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize