I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love having hate sex.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
