I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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