She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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