We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
