if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can i not drive my cunt home
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
