News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
how drunk are you?
Several
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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